partybarackisinthehousetonight: imagine if every single person in the world simultaneously said ‘mayonnaise’
vriksaserket: vriksaserket: i changed the settings on my moms phone so that when she types my name it changes to ‘my favorite child’ and when she types a swear, it changes it to something more family friendly
partybarackisinthehousetonight: mermaidpirate: partybarackisinthehousetonight: if you’re ever feeling lazy just remember that the ancient greeks believed their gods lived on top of a very climbable hill but no one even bothered to check Did you really just call Mount Olympus a hill? sorry. BIG hill
iusedtobethefire: katnisstiel: yesbecausereasons: real—not—real: real—not—real: assckles: assckles: I want to take a dollar bill and write “are you Misha Collins” on it and maybe one day it’ll end up in his hands and he’d be the one mind fucked for once the journey has begun… DOING THIS ON EVERY DOLLAR I COME ACROSS Like I said fandom will take over american currency i...
romulusthread: MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
yellowbrickrose: you clever boy and
shannananan: mercimonamie: i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once. oh my god you managed to one up john green.
egberts: viarga: just-laff: egberts: if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket you are one of the great thinkers of our time Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and...
forever-classyx: Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.
We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when...– Charles Kingsley (via femmeinnest)
Life is beautiful when you live it – really experience it – not when you are...– (via femmeinnest)
thewaywardfox: protip: if you cant remember someones name, just call them “old sport”
teenwhoops: i’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more.. i don’t even know where Sandwiches live
I just wanna go on more adventures. Be around good energy. Connect with people....– Kid Cudi (via thelovelyloner)
friendsofthegaybc: travisstolls: friendsofthegaybc: travisstolls: WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG WARTHOG WHEN I WAS A YOUNG WARTHOOOOOOOOG Very nice Thanks
bitcorn: just saw a guy wearing a nirvana t-shirt lmfao i bet cant even name three noble truths of buddhism
leftforbed: leftforbed: mcsnuggie: true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn why would the movie eat my popcorn nevermind i get it
axto: aleetlepinch: I’m so sick of people thinking they can just waltz into my room when I’m obviously listening to music in 4/4. I just wanted to reblog this again because I find it inordinately funny.